Saturday, November 19, 2011
He Aint No Santa Claus
I would like to start this blog by saying that I have an amazing husband who loves me dearly. he isnt romantic in any way, but I know that I am the love of his life and he is mine. he is an amazing father to our kids and a great provider. I love him with all of my heart and would not trade him for the world. On that note-
My husband is the worst gift giver in the history of gifts. I am serious, his gift giving is just atrocious. For my wedding gift to him I gave him a pocket watch (which he had told me he ALWAYS wanted one) engraved with our wedding date on it. His gift to me? A vase. Yup, a $20 glass vase with no flowers from target. For our first Valentines day? He gave me a 4 inch glass rose on a stand that he purchased from a smoke shop "because it will never die." Sweet right? The kicker? He gave his mom the same exact thing. He has not given me a valentines gift since. Other heinous gifts have been a robe that was way too small, cheap jewelry from Walmart that was too small, a few pillows, a blanket, and once in a while I buy myself something and tell him that its from him. I have bought him fishing trips for he and a friend, fishing reels and poles, nice jackets, movies, games, stuff for his beloved fish tank, and everything else he has "always wanted". I am a wonderful gift giver. This Christmas I was planning on getting him the electric drum set he has been silently drooling over.
Tonight he went to the store to pick a few things up and my oldest daughter asked him to get her a "surprise." He then asked me, with the slightest bit of dread, if I would like anything. Of course my response was "Sure!" I am a sucker for surprise gifts! Oh wait, no I'm not because I never get them, but of course I let myself get my hopes up thinking he just MIGHT have something in mind that I would love or possibly even like. So I sat here at home thinking of all of the lovely things he could get me.
Now I need to explain last night for this one. last night my husband wanted to watch a new movie my Dad gave him. I had NO interest in watching it, so i told him that since we dont have a DVD player in the bedroom that he would have to watch it in the living room, and that I would go to bed and watch some TV. Sounded like a great deal to me! I get to snuggle in bed all alone watching whatever I want? Yes please!! I ended up falling asleep before he made it to bed. Now back to the other story-
So as I was sitting on the couch waiting for him to get home I was thinking of all of the things he could possible get me, like some pajamas or slippers, maybe a bottle of wine, a new wallet that I told him I needed earlier today, then he walks in the door with a bag. He hands me the bag and gives the kids their surprise, fun coloring books! YAY! My surprise? A DVD player. Now, let me tell you something. I am not a big movie watcher. There is a movie ONCE IN A GREAT WHILE that I am dying to see, but I never actually buy movies. I will watch them once On Demand, and then if i ever have the desire to watch it again, I will go buy it. My husband on the other hand buys and watches movies like its his job. I cant tell you a movie that has come out in the past few years that he hasnt watched. This DVD player has just come between me and my alone time DAMN IT!
I know you are thinking that he bought it so we can watch them TOGETHER, but still, thats not a gift for ME. That is for him, 100%. Of course I have to tell you that I have the WORST game face ever. I mean the WORST! So when I opened the bag and saw the DVD player I said "this isnt for me, right?" His response? "i knew you wouldnt like it." WELL THEN WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU BUY IT FOR ME? If he bought it for HIMSELF I wouldnt have minded in the least bit. I would have said "Awesome! I hope you like it!" but for me? NO.
I HAVE giving hints, I have TOLD him what I would like. I have written down my ring/necklace/bracelet size for him. I am a girly girl in most senses and would LOVE a beautiful piece of jewelry (that fits)! I am getting sick of his bologna excuses that he isn't good at buying gifts. I just want him to TRY once in a while... It makes me feel unappreciated and like he doesn't think of me. I wish I could accept that he will never be able to buy me a good gift, but in all honesty, its just not going to happen. I would rather get nothing than the first thing on the end of the aisle at Target because its my birthday and he hasn't gotten me a gift. Thanks for reading.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Craving Social Interaction
As of this weekend, we have officially been living in our house for 1 year. Its been a lot of ups and downs and crazy, so hopefully in the next year or two things will settle down and we will find our grove.
Today I am having a rough time. When I was in Riverside I could easily find something to do on a Saturday night. It was getting someone to stay with the kids that was difficult. Now that we can take turns hanging out with friends, or possibly even get a sitter, there is just nothing to do.
Only one of my friends has made an effort to visit more than once. She has been a life saver but I feel like a pain in the ass because sometimes I need some social interaction and I always seem to turn to her. I am sure her boyfriend is sick of me always asking her to come over. I have other friends, but they live out of state or are busy with their own lives.
Its hard for me to make friends here. Its so hit or miss. I have met awesome people, but they have their own circle of friends. I have also met some who I could try and call, but we are just too different and I really don't think a friendship is possible.
Its extremely hard to have friends without kids. Most of my friends don't have kids which makes it hard because they can freely go about without needing to do anything but clear it with a husband or boyfriend. I on the other hand live over 30 minutes away from all of them, and cannot go too far from home in case something happens and I need to get home.
I have thought about joining a Mommy Group, but the last time I tried that it was a bust. Some women are just too uptight and catty, and I just don't have the patience to hang out with women who like competing against each other.
I guess its just going to be one of those facebook nights. :) Thanks for letting me rant.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Memorial Day
Today is Memorial Day. I have spent my day on my couch because I am pretty sure I ate something that didnt agree with me yesterday. Needless to say, I am not a happy camper today.
So today I wanted to say thank you to the men in my family that served in the military and fought in our wars, but a facebook status update between my posts about food poisoning and my new bleach blonde hair didnt seem appropriate or nearly enough.
My Dad served in the US Navy in the 60's and I am pretty sure he got out in the early 70's. I dont know the exact details because I have never really prodded my Dad for the information. When he wants to talk about his past in the service I am always open to hear it, but usually its not something he wants to talk about. My dad fought in the Vietnam war in 1969. Again, there are a few stories I know by heart, but for the most part all I know is that my Dad served in the Navy, was deployed in Vietnam in 1969, worked on the river boats, was a welder, and was hit in the ankles by shrapnel.
Once when I was a kid I asked my Dad what war was like. He answered with one word, hell. Later in life we were sitting in the living room watching a movie, Saving Private Ryan, my dad started the movie and said "Lauren, you asked me what war is like, watch the first 10 minutes of this movie and you will understand." I have never gotten past the first 10 minutes of that movie.
My uncle Larry was also in the service during the Vietnam war. He was in the Air Force, and I am pretty sure he was an officer. Sadly, because of exposure to Agent Orange, my uncle developed terminal brain cancer and passed away in 1987. I wish I had a chance to get to know him, but from what I have heard he was an extremely intelligent and pretty awesome guy!
Also, my Grandpa, Kerk Eliassen also served in in the Navy, and he fought in WWII. Again, I dont know much about it.
I want to say thank you so much to my family that has served, and of course my friends who are in Iraq and Afghanistan. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I love you all!!
There is a wall in North Dakota, where my Grandparents were born, and my dad and his brother were born too. It is a veterans memorial wall. I wanted to share a few of the bricks of MY family members that have served in the wars. Please dont forget to thank a veteran today!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
The last day of Kindergarten
Lillian's last day of kindergarten was this past Friday. I never thought I was the type to get emotional about my kids growing up. I knew it was going to happen and I have been prepared for it since the day I found out I was pregnant. Maybe its because on Thursday and Friday I was hit with an extreme case of PMS, but I was an emotional wreck. I got her up and ready for school. I let her wear whatever she wanted. I let her brush her own hair, and handle all of her morning rituals, then we hopped into the truck and off to school we went. We got there a little early so I let the girls run around in the grass for a little while before the teacher came and unlocked the gate. The kids were all having a blast and I tried to take a few pictures unsuccessfully. Then out came her teacher and she was running to the gate. I managed to get a couple pictures of her and her friends, then right before she went into her classroom I snapped a picture of Lil and her teacher.
Thats when I lost it. After taking the picture of her with her teacher I turned around real quick and started walking to the truck just hoping that nobody wanted to talk because by that time the tears were rolling down my cheeks. I got into the truck and sat there for a few minutes letting the tears roll and thinking to myself "WHY are you crying?!?" I still cant tell you the exact reason I cried, but it has something to do with the fact that a huge part of her childhood has passed and the rest is going to FLY by.
I sat in the truck for about a minute before I put it into drive and started driving away. Then of course I turned on the radio because I am completely unable to drive a car without music. The song was "Just Fishin." by Trace Adkins. Thats when I REALLY lost it. The tears were rolling faster than I could wipe. Thats when I realized that my baby was growing up faster than I was ready and that I need to put some serious effort into creating memories with her that she can hold onto.
I dont have too many memories from before my parents divorce. I have a few, usually involving my grandparents, but not too many. If you ask me something I can usually remember it, but off the top of my head, not much. I hope that I can create enough memories with my girls that they can hold on to them.
Luckly as I drove down the hill back to my house I saw another parent walking his kindergartner to school and they were at the bottom of the hill still about a mile from the school, so I made a u-turn to pick them up. Cant be late on the LAST day! So I pulled myself together because the last people I wanted to cry infront of was Abby and her dad Chris, whom I have hardly ever talked to before. After I got them to the school, I saw that the kids were already on the playground and that Lillian was in no way phased by the fact that it was going to be a couple months before she saw these kids again.
I went home and tried to pull my thoughts together and kept my mind busy doing mindless things around the house. But when it was time to pick her up my eyes began to fill with water again. I went to the store and bought her a bouquet of flowers and a balloon since they didnt have a "graduation" ceremony and parked in front of the school and waited until it was time to pick her up. Lila was in the back seat sleeping so I just sat in the car listening to music and crying my eyes out. I finally pulled myself together right before I had to get her. It was a bitter sweet moment, I was proud but sad and happy but already reminiscent of the past year and all of the things my baby has accomplished, all at the same time.
So now my little girl is a first grader. She is joining the big bad world of school. I just hope we can make the rest of it memorable!
Lions pinch camera
Thursday, May 26, 2011
She is TWO!
About 3 years ago, my little Lillian was just about 2 1/2 and Nick and I decided it was about time to give her a sibling. We spent many night discussing and wondering if it was the right time in our lives. We knew that we wanted our kids to be close enough in age that they could enjoy eachother as much as we enjoyed them.
Of course I knew in my heart I was hoping for a little girl. I wanted Lily to have a sister because I was lucky enough to have three amazing sisters who I can call my best friends and I wanted my daughter to be able to know and understand that love and connection.
When I got pregnant I was so excited! I couldnt wait to find out if our little bean sprout was a boy or a girl, but in my heart I was BEGGING for a girl. Lillian wasnt so private with her thoughts and she let us know that she REALLY wanted a sister.
The day came to find out if our little nugget was a boy or girl, and as soon as the technician placed the ultrasound over the privates Nick and I looked at each other and we KNEW that our new baby was in fact a girl. We let the cat out of the bag on Christmas, telling the family that they were about to get another little princess to join our pack.
The day she was born, we took one look at her and knew her name would be Delilah. It was 9 months of trying to chose a name, and it only took one minute to know that her name was Delilah. After my csection I was taken into recovery and didnt get to see her for over an hour. All I had was a little glimpse of this perfect baby to hold on to and looked forward to the moment when she was handed to me and I could keep her forever.
As I was taken into my room, the nurse brought me this tiny little bundle and said Congratulations Mommy! And there she was. In my arms and all snuggly. I held her up and kissed her and told her how beautiful she was. I will never forget that day. Even if it was a bit hazy due to the morphine!
Today, when I went into her room this morning she was lying in her bed wide awake. I walked to the side of the crib and leaned over and whispered "Happy Birthday little girl". She stood up handing me her stuffed animals and blanket like she does every morning when she isnt ready to get up yet. We snuggled and played, and I painted her nails and let her eat ice cream for breakfast. Then we stopped and got some candy and juice from the store.
She is so happy. The joys in her day are playing with her sister, snuggling with mommy and daddy, watching cartoons, and right now she is on the couch playing with a huge butterfly balloon completely oblivious to the fact that its her special day.
I cant imagine my life with out this little girl. She makes my heart skip a beat when I say "I love you" and she replies by just saying "too". She is beautiful and silly and smart all wrapped up in a ball of happiness. Even when she is upset or mad it just takes a second to pull a smile out of her. And when I find myself a little down she is always there ready to make me the happiest mommy in the world.
Although today she is a big girl, and turning two, she is always going to be my baby. I wanted her since I was a little girl. To have two daughters was what I dreamed of, and I was lucky enough to be blessed with two amazing kids. Today I know my life and family are complete. All because of this special little gift. My little Delilah Mae. I love you baby girl!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
5th Anniversary
Well that was an interesting adventure we had last night. Let me start off by explaining what happened on Thursday, to help explain why Friday went the way it did.
On Thursday I was driving to take Lillian to cheer practice. We stopped off at Circle K to get some drinks and got back onto the road. I was stuck behind a girl doing about 20 MPH in a 45. I am not sure what she was thinking but she had no interest in going any faster (At this point we had 10 minutes to get there and signed in), so I decided to go around her. It was a two lane road, and she was in the left lane, so I got into the right an tried to go around her. Just as I was pulling up next to her, she decided to get it the right lane. She must not have looked at all because she started merging into the lane right next to me. The back of her car was next to my window. I slammed on the brakes to slow down. And when I say slammed, I mean, I actually pressed the brake as hard as I possibly could. My tires started screeching and the back end of my car was going sideways. I ended up diagonal in my lane and still sliding when she fully merged into the lane I was in. She was completely oblivious. So I composed myself as much as I could because at this point I was having a full on anxiety attack, got into the left lane and went on my way.
It doesnt seem like such a big deal because we didn't get into an actual accident, but the situation put some serious wear and tear on my car.
After the events of Thursday were over I went home and we didn't go anywhere again until yesterday afternoon when we left for Dana Point. We made it up the hill (the Ortegas/ HWY 74) and over, and when we started coming down the other side I noticed that the brakes were grinding. Then the clicking started, which turned into cracking, which turned into popping, which turned into squealing and squeaking and eventually a god awful ear piercing sound every time the wheels turned.
We pulled over at a shell gas station right where the 74 hwy meets the interstate 5 in San Juan Capistrano. At this point I was really upset and not sure of what to do. I started making phone calls to local mechanics to see if anyone was open because it was 5pm on a Friday. We were going to ask Nicks sister to help us get a tow back to Elsinore, but I called my Dad and he said to just get it into a shop and he was bringing me his truck. So we got it into Goodyear 30 minutes before they closed, and sat on a curb for about an hour until my Dad made it. I love that I can always count on him.
We made it to the Salt Creek Grille at 7:20, about an hour after our reservations, but it was fine. We had a nice dinner with our two crazy kids who at this point were so tired, hungry, and bored that they were restless during dinner, so we spent most of the time telling them to sit down and eat. After we left the restaurant we stopped by the beach the kids love to play at. It was about 9pm and only 55 degrees outside, but we had promised the kids they could play in the sand for a little while and they begged up to stop, so we did. They lasted a whole 5 minutes and we got back into the car and made it home.
It was all in all a stressful evening that didn't go nearly as planned, but it was eventful and a night to remember.
Hopefully our 10th Anniversary goes a little better.
And I got a call this morning that the hub bearing in my right tire has been replaced and its ready to go.... Now for getting back out there to get the car. LOL
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